The Letter Q

I want this book.

It's called The Letter Q: Queer Writers' Notes to their Younger Selves, and it's just what it sounds like: Things queer authors would say to their younger selves if they had the chance. As a queer writer myself, I can only imagine how amazing it would be to read stories of people who were once, very much in my boat. A bit like It Gets Better, only for writers. (On that note, there is actually a book of It Gets Better stories, if you didn't know. I didn't. I might get that one, too. It even got better reviews.)

This quote is on the Amazon page, attributed to Sarah Moon:

"Just between you and me, we both know that the weirdest thing about coming out on your first day of high school in this tiny cow-town is that you haven't even kissed a girl, yet. All you're going on is that feeling in your stomach when you see those pictures of the Spice Girls. It feels a little strange to go around proclaiming that you're a lesbian when you're not even sure that, you know, you'll like it. That quiet fear that this isn't the right thing, that you're going through all of this trouble for nothing, that if you had Angelina Jolie right there in front of you, you wouldn't know what to do with her, it's very scary. I have good news for you: The trouble is worth it, and you'll learn what to do; and that will be fun."

This speaks exactly to me. This is a fear I have had. This is a fear I still have. Although I don't live in a 'tiny cow-town', and I don't stare at pictures of the Spice Girls or Angelina Jolie, this could be a letter from MY future self. That, I think, is one of the things that binds us together. We have had the same fears, the same thoughts, the same problems, even though we are very different people living very different lives. Sarah Moon and I have never met. She has never heard of me (unless by some very strange coincidence, she knows one of my teachers or something) and I had never heard of her until today, though I love her name. But Sarah Moon knows exactly what I'm thinking, because she has been there too.

Misconceptions the 'Good Guys' Have

Today I saw a picture that said, "I am gay! I have the constitutional right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
Can you guess what's wrong with this statement?
Answer: The 'right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness' is not in the Constitution. It is in the Declaration of Independence, which doesn't actually determine our laws. You have the constitutional right to freedom of religion, freedom of the press, a trial by your peers, and a few other things encoded in what's basically an appendix to the Constitution, the Bill of Rights.
That's not the point.
The point is that if you don't check your facts and know your material cold, why should your opponent take you seriously? How can you argue with an anti-gay-rights person that your rights are being infringed upon if you don't know what your rights are? How can you convince them that you have a point if you say something that's merely in the right spirit, but not factually correct?
To change minds, your arguments have to be airtight. You want to be the one poking holes in their arguments, not the one scrambling while your arguments are falling apart. Granted, you'll probably have more success changing minds by standing up and saying, "I am a gay second class citizen, and this is my story," but when the people on the fence call out to you and say, "Hey. Why should I help you get married?" what are you going to say?
Well, for starters, if you want to do any good, you won't quote the Constitution without having article and paragraph numbers.
For another thing, you won't say something like, "Being gay is entirely genetic." Quoting scientific findings is a lot like quoting legal decisions. You're better off having someone who understands the field putting it in layman's terms. Thankfully, I'm a lot better at deciphering science-speak than legalese. I wrote the paper on this, literally. (You'll get to see it soon.) Here's what we know or think we know:

• If one identical twin is gay, the other twin has a 50/50 shot at also being gay. 
• Identical twins share the same genes. Anything that is entirely genetic will be the same for both of them. Always.
• If a gay man has a gay uncle, they may tend to share a gene on the X chromosome.
• Just because two things tend to happen together, doesn't mean one causes the other. There's a whole bunch of ways things can be linked. For example, you notice that the tree leaves in your neighborhood are turning yellow and falling off. Is the turning yellow what causes them to fall? Is the falling (or preparation for falling) what causes them to turn yellow? Or is something else causing both?
• Fraternal (non-identical) twins are more likely than ordinary siblings to both be gay.
• Some people still claim to have changed sides or chosen their sexuality.

We are not helping our case at all to claim that being gay has been proven to be caused by genes. The best we can do is admit that the whole thing is confusing, complex, and hasn't undergone enough study. Our focus needs to be not on why we are gay, but whether it matters that we are.

News and Politics

I know I've been absent for a couple months, but I've been racking up the news articles to send you. Warning: NYTimes.com only lets you view ten free articles a month, so think carefully before clicking the links. I can get around that by getting them sent to me in my inbox, but even I can't view my bookmarks.
 So, Biden's big announcement in favor of same-sex marriage. I'm sure you've heard about this. Drove the White House a little crazy, rushing to make sure everyone knew this was Biden's personal opinion and not the official stance, and forcing Obama to say something one way or the other. I feel for the big man--he got voters from both sides by walking the line, and this doesn't help his cause. Quite frankly, I'm worried about what will happen if Mitt Romney gets in office. It really feels like he sets his stance based on what he thinks the public wants to hear, and changes it accordingly. What is the problem with Obama? I hope this is the article that talks about this--I keep getting a message that says I've read my free articles for the month before I can even read enough to see if it's the one I want. Basically, Romney's telling us Obama lost the country jobs--well, in his first few months of taking office, before his policies could take effect. And now he's trying to get us to return to the same policies that got us into this mess. Who really believes two terms are enough to dig the country out of its hole? Who thinks that a man who won't take a stance of his own and says what he thinks you want to hear will make a good president?  (Apparently, a lot of people.) And Romney won't support same-sex marriage--he says so himself, although he also apparently has friends who are gay. Yes, ObamaCare may be in line with socialist ideals. But guess what? So is public education. It doesn't make him evil. We're so close to getting many of our rights, despite some waffling in the White House--Obama Won't Order Ban on Gay Bias by Employers--some of the original top supporters of DOMA are trying to get it revoked, and the public mind is changing all the time. Don't let the country take two steps back for every step forward. Pull out your common sense. Leave the states vs federal debate and the abortion debate for another day. Debate them in your own time, please do. Work to change people's minds for the things you really care about. But the whole country's going to suffer if you elect Mitt Romney. Re-elect Obama. Pass it on.

In other news:
Homophobic? Maybe You're Gay
All you have to do is watch Glee to know some of the most vehement anti-gays out there are in the closet and scared to death. A good reason to turn the other cheek and be kind to those who hate your guts.
Methodists Vote Against Homosexuality Rule Change
Basically, the Methodists have it written down that homosexuality is incompatible with their teachings, and they decided not to rewrite it.
Harming the Troops
Military Chaplains officially can't marry same-sex couples, even in states where it's legal. I think. Legalese confuses the heck out of me. I shall never be a politician.
Malawi President Wants to Repeal Nation's Antigay Laws
Malawi, a country in Africa, currently has laws prohibiting homosexual acts, but its president wants to repeal them if she can.
And:
Rutgers Webcam-Spying Defendant Sentenced to 30 Days
This is the kid who spied on his roommate having gay sex using a webcam, and posted about it on Twitter, leading to the young man's suicide.