Closets and Skeletons

Being in the closet has the detrimental effect of making people feel like strangers to those closest to them. Like liars. Like imposters.
I remember being at my own birthday party, laughing with my friends, and suddenly wondering how many of my friends would be there if they knew the truth.
After all, there are scary things like skeletons in closets.
I'm out to most people now as gay--certain conservative family and friends no longer within my closest circle remain. (There are also a few people with whom it simply hasn't come up.)
And then I found myself back in the closet, once again restructuring sentences, and I discovered a new pain to the closet.
When you have a partner you haven't told anyone about, you can't share the joys of a new relationship, the learning process of its progression, or the sorrow at its ending.
I broke up with a lovely woman today, and cried alone.
Only now, as the relationship is ending, am I finding the courage to say I dated two wonderful women at the same time, they knew about and cared about each other, and I have been doing one of them the occasionally necessary disservice of not telling anyone about her.
Well, hardly anyone. By my count, seven people besides us three knew. (This is the scientist and the poet in me clashing.)
And so I made her things. I can't take any credit for technical ability--you too can make these on weavesilk.com, but they do mean things, and this is, after all, a blog for art.


So I'm taking a moment off from research to mourn a romantic relationship and celebrate a friendship and make things and be a little pissed off that I can feel safe as a lesbian now and fear being seen as poly. There's a rant to be had there, but I don't have it yet.

LGBT in Puerto Rico

So I read through the articles, and the upshot is this:
Because Puerto Rico is a territory of the USA, the anti-sodomy laws and the hate crime laws apply. There are also non-federal laws signed into being last year, including probhibition of discrimination based on gender or sexual orientation (unclear whether this includes gender identity, I'm guessing not), and extension of the definition of domestic violence to include same-sex couples. However, there are no legal same-sex unions or recognitions of same-sex unions performed elsewhere, and no adoption of kids by same-sex partners.
Trans people are having a very hard time of it. At best, they are ridiculed, and at worst, being subjected to horrific hate crimes.
However, the arts scene is pushing back, hard. Two movies related to transgenderism have been produced within the last three years, and there are two film festivals dedicated to queer life.

Lawsuit over same-sex marriage
http://www.lgbtpuertorico.com/blog/
Wikipedia on being LGBT in Puerto Rico
Nice summary; Where does Puerto Rico stand on LGBT issues
Hate crime
Film Mala Mala

Boy Scouts Reconsider

Boy Scouts is considering lifting the ban on gay members! The nationwide ban will be removed, allowing individual units to choose their own policy. I'm so excited for my BSA friends!
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/29/us/boy-scouts-consider-lifting-ban-on-gay-leaders.html?pagewanted=1&tntemail1=y&_r=0&emc=tnt
This is even more exciting because Boy Scouts has to make this decision on their own--the Supreme Court ruled that they had the right to ban gay members. It's the same law that makes it possible for private schools to be all-male or all-female--and considering how many women felt empowered by attending an all-female college, I feel duty-bound to uphold the law allowing private organizations to make discriminative calls. That means the only thing to do is persuade leaders to change their minds in cases like this one, where the discrimination does more harm than good. After all, I've never met a boy (there may be some) who really, really wanted to attend a college that happened to be all-female.

News and Politics

I know I've been absent for a couple months, but I've been racking up the news articles to send you. Warning: NYTimes.com only lets you view ten free articles a month, so think carefully before clicking the links. I can get around that by getting them sent to me in my inbox, but even I can't view my bookmarks.
 So, Biden's big announcement in favor of same-sex marriage. I'm sure you've heard about this. Drove the White House a little crazy, rushing to make sure everyone knew this was Biden's personal opinion and not the official stance, and forcing Obama to say something one way or the other. I feel for the big man--he got voters from both sides by walking the line, and this doesn't help his cause. Quite frankly, I'm worried about what will happen if Mitt Romney gets in office. It really feels like he sets his stance based on what he thinks the public wants to hear, and changes it accordingly. What is the problem with Obama? I hope this is the article that talks about this--I keep getting a message that says I've read my free articles for the month before I can even read enough to see if it's the one I want. Basically, Romney's telling us Obama lost the country jobs--well, in his first few months of taking office, before his policies could take effect. And now he's trying to get us to return to the same policies that got us into this mess. Who really believes two terms are enough to dig the country out of its hole? Who thinks that a man who won't take a stance of his own and says what he thinks you want to hear will make a good president?  (Apparently, a lot of people.) And Romney won't support same-sex marriage--he says so himself, although he also apparently has friends who are gay. Yes, ObamaCare may be in line with socialist ideals. But guess what? So is public education. It doesn't make him evil. We're so close to getting many of our rights, despite some waffling in the White House--Obama Won't Order Ban on Gay Bias by Employers--some of the original top supporters of DOMA are trying to get it revoked, and the public mind is changing all the time. Don't let the country take two steps back for every step forward. Pull out your common sense. Leave the states vs federal debate and the abortion debate for another day. Debate them in your own time, please do. Work to change people's minds for the things you really care about. But the whole country's going to suffer if you elect Mitt Romney. Re-elect Obama. Pass it on.

In other news:
Homophobic? Maybe You're Gay
All you have to do is watch Glee to know some of the most vehement anti-gays out there are in the closet and scared to death. A good reason to turn the other cheek and be kind to those who hate your guts.
Methodists Vote Against Homosexuality Rule Change
Basically, the Methodists have it written down that homosexuality is incompatible with their teachings, and they decided not to rewrite it.
Harming the Troops
Military Chaplains officially can't marry same-sex couples, even in states where it's legal. I think. Legalese confuses the heck out of me. I shall never be a politician.
Malawi President Wants to Repeal Nation's Antigay Laws
Malawi, a country in Africa, currently has laws prohibiting homosexual acts, but its president wants to repeal them if she can.
And:
Rutgers Webcam-Spying Defendant Sentenced to 30 Days
This is the kid who spied on his roommate having gay sex using a webcam, and posted about it on Twitter, leading to the young man's suicide.

Girl Scout Cookies

A transgender Colorado child named Bobby wants to join Girl Scouts.
So what?
Well, a lot of people are up in arms about it. One teenage girl posted a video on YouTube about it, asking people to boycott buying Girl Scout Cookies to protest. Ironically, she says other transgender kids have been allowed to join in the past. Implied, without an issue, as it should be. Poor Bobby and her family, having to deal with this. Read the story.
Even my district's Girl Scout council is pulling together for an emergency meeting about attempts to "discredit" Girl Scouts. Some people are agreeing to boycott. Others have decided to up their order.
I'm asking you to do the same. Buy more Girl Scout cookies. And it's not just me. Buck Angel, a transgender former Girl Scout, is asking you, too. Support transgender girls' right to be part of Girl Scout troops if they want. Buy more cookies.

Russia discriminates

Copied from an email from the Courage Campaign.

Aeroflot, Russia's largest airline, discriminates against its gay and lesbian employees as an official policy, according to published reports. Gay flight attendant Maxim Kupreev decided to organize an LGBT employee group to push for equal treatment of LGBT people by the airline. Aeroflot's answer? Marry a woman or you are fired.
Aeroflot is part of the SkyTeam alliance co-founded by Delta and Air France, both of which market heavily in the LGBT community. Ask Delta and Air France to suspend Aeroflot until the airline treats all their employees with respect.
I care about this issue because, since 1983, I've spent a number of years in the USSR and then Russia. Even after I came out in the early 1990s, I was careful about being too "public" in Russia. My sexuality was used against me in business, with some people mocking and attacking my reputation simply because I'm a gay man. So when I read that -- over twenty years later -- Aeroflot was still oppressing gay employees, I had to stand up.
Will you stand with me and Maxim Kupreev and tell Delta and Air France to suspend its alliance with Aeroflot until the company apologizes and sets standards for fair treatment of LGBT employees?
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton historically announced last month that LGBT rights are human rights. Still, major Russian companies refuse to allow their gay citizens to live as real people. Imagine if your employer forced you to marry someone you did not love. We have to stand up for human rights violations wherever they take place, including Russia.
Tell Delta and Air France to set a better example and demand that Aeroflot treat all of its employees with dignity and respect.

Makes sense to me

A nice, clear explanation of why same-sex marriage is completely different from marrying pets, inanimate objects, corpses, or children. View here. This is what I'm talking about.

End marriage discrimination

Watch original here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_TBd-UCwVAY

DADT dust

I don't pretend to understand politics. Why is it, for example, that I get the distinct impression that people I know are Republican because they are against abortion instead of because they care whether the federal government or the states put down the laws?
Or how can it be that the repeal of DADT passed the House and Senate and was signed by the President months ago and is only now going into effect?
*sigh* Oh, well. I'll probably never be a lawyer. At any rate, we can celebrate because DADT is now completely and totally in the dustbin as of today. Hooray!
Here's an article about those people who think the repeal is a bad thing. It's not exactly objective, but it puts voice to those feelings of "What? But that's obviously ridiculous!" that are so bad at making points.
Now I could join the military if I wanted, because I would have no intentions of going into a field where I had to hide. Please. Did enough of that in high school, right? I probably never will. Military isn't my style. But to all those whose calling is overseas--the world is your oyster.