This is why we have to fight

"'Loving! Lusting, you mean. Read your Bible... Read Leviticus, read Romans 1:26.' I don't know what I said then. Maybe I didn't say anything. I'm not sure I was able to think any more. I do remember, though, that I went home and read Leviticus and Romans, and cried again."
~ Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1982. (Place of publication unknown)
It touches something deep inside me and makes me feel like crying to think of kids being read Leviticus and Romans and told that they are abominations. Why must What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality be so little known that my local library system doesn't have it?
This is why I have to do this. This is what to keep in mind. This is why apathy won't cut it. This is why we have to fight.
Because apathy won't cut it. "I don't care what you do in your own time." "Why can't gay people do what they want and leave us alone?"
Because we aren't a disease, to be hidden away and forgotten about. In recent memory, I heard a conversation in which a girl had never heard of gay girls. She seemed to think it only applied to men. I had never even heard of the concept of transgender until a few years ago. How can we expect our teens to feel good about themselves, when as far as they know, nobody else is like them? When a girl likes other girls and assumes it's just friendship love and that it will always be better than romantic love? What will happen when she's engaged, or even married, and realizes the truth? When a boy who is biologically a girl, or vice versa, assumes that something is wrong with them--or flat out assumes they are gay, when that isn't necessarily true? How can we expect teens to grow up well-adjusted when they are seriously confused? When there is no obvious support, or anyone they know they can turn to with questions? When everywhere same-sex couples are still denied marriage, not to mention marriage within their faith? That isn't going to work. We have to fight if we want any of that. No, apathy won't cut it. If you're not against us, please, join us.

Same-sex marriage bill signed

I was watching this live earlier today, but as the sound was turned off, I couldn't really catch what was going on other than that a same-sex marriage bill was being signed. Here's the story, or watch it here.

Gay Rights Marchers in DC

View the article here. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a military policy which bans questioning about sexual orientation, but allows gays to be discharged for coming out.

MORE on lesbianism

I was reading an old copy of MORE today. (Yes, I know this is a magazine for women over 40. No, I am not over 40 or even close. Yes, I know I'm weird.)
A while ago, I read an issue, the one before the May 09 one most likely, that had an article titled, "Over 40 and Over Men". As you can guess, it was about women who come out as lesbians in midlife. Some were even married. I found it very interesting, and I think it shows how deep-seated our assumption that we are straight is.
But my focus is on the issue I was reading today, and the letters from readers section. Here is one comment:
"My surprise when reading "Over 40 and Over Men was not that some women become lesbians later in life but rather that the writer portrayed the women's coming out as a positive choice for their families. Are all husbands of wives who announce they are gay and ending their marriage going to encourage them to "explore their new feelings"? The article also glossed over how a woman's decision to leave her family for a lesbian lifestyle affects her children. A more balanced view of such an important life decision would have been more appropriate." ~ Ann L., San Diego, California, "Letters." MORE May 2009: 16
The main assumption this letter is based on is that lesbianism (sorry, guys, but like I said, MORE, and therefore the articles in it, are for women) is something that 'happens', or is our choice, as though these women are bored of their straight marriage, and seek excitement in starting over in a same-sex relationship.
The question I would like to pose is, who in their right mind would choose this?
I don't mean this to say we should try to force ourselves to be straight. The kind of choice that involves accepting yourself is one I wholeheartedly support. But back when you thought you were straight, as I'm sure many of us did, would you have simply decided to be gay? Many of us even wished we were straight. And why not? It would sure save a lot of persecution, coming-out stress, and annoyance at having to correct people. It would bypass a whole lot of moral questions, too.
I believe that the decision to accept oneself as gay, and on a bigger scale, the decision to come out, is simply and purely a decision to be honest, with yourself and everyone else, about something close to the center of your being.
Oddly enough, this applies to me very little. If I were given that choice, to be gay or straight, I would, and may have, chosen to be gay.
As a wrap-up, I would like to say that in no way am I criticizing MORE. In the same issue, it mentions Ellen Degeneres (page 63), whom you probably know as a lesbian with her own TV show, and this letter:
"This was a great article and very tastefully written. As a woman who came out at 40, I found it to be right on the money. Thanks for writing it!" ~ Teresa Dominik (via MORE.com), Bryan, Texas, also page 16.

Gay or Trans?

Several days ago, Monday I think, I saw the latest episode of a TV show called Glee on Hulu.com. It was hilarious. I don't know how many times I watched the beginning. It started out with one of the characters, a boy, doing the Beyoncé Single Ladies dance, wearing a unitard. A boy doing a girly dance to a girly song in a girly outfit. You can imagine why it was so funny.
However, all praise aside, it wasn't entirely accurate. The point of the dance was to emphasize the character's femininity, since the character was gay. Except a guy doesn't have to be girly to be gay. That whole stereotype is more indicative of trans people.
I wasn't offended or anything, I could appreciate the humor, but I decided to use it to make a point.
Again, a few definitions are needed here. All these are defined as adjectives, but 'gay', 'transsexual', and 'transvestite' can all be used as nouns. That is, I write the definitions as descriptions (a gay person, a transsexual person), but you can also use them as definers (a gay, a transsexual) though that's not entirely polite.

Gay--to be solely attracted to people of the same biological sex.
Transsexual--to have had sex reassignment surgery. Some people don't identify as transsexual, rather they feel that they have become the opposite gender.
Transvestite--to dress as the opposite gender.
Transgender--to feel that one is actually a separate gender from one's biological gender. It can also include transvestite, transsexual, and intersex. When I say 'trans', I mean transgender.
Femme--feminine, girly.
Butch--masculine.

Trans people can be gay, bi, or straight. People happy with the gender they were born with can be gay, bi, or straight.
The guy on Glee (season 1, episode Preggers) was stereotypically femme, which ended in just about everybody knowing the truth without his telling them. But although it's certainly true that gay men can be femme, they can just as easily be butch. All the same, I do recommend the episode, and the previous one, Acafellas. Most any of us can identify with his difficulty coming out, even if not with his dress sense.
Who would have guessed I was anything but completely straight, the way I talk about guys? I do like to dance with them, and I do find them handsome, but a girl can get into my blood the way no guy so far has. I'm not taking a definitive label yet, but that's okay. I know who I am. I'm Phoenix Tawnyflower.

Cleve and the Courage Campaign

Today I got an email from Cleve Jones.
It was about repealing the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which of course, only applies to opposite-sex marriages. As important as that is, it's not what I'm here to talk about today.
For those of you to whom the name, Cleve Jones, seems familiar, he's the guy with the Afro and glasses in the movie Milk.
Unfortunately, it's an R-rated movie, mostly for profanity. But beyond the surface, it's a heartbreaking story, one that anyone (over 17) should see. It won Sean Penn an Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role and Dustin Lance Black one for Best Original Screenplay. Watch the video of Black's acceptance through Courage Campaign. You won't regret it.
For those of you who are wondering how he got my email address, the email was a global, sent by way of the Courage Campaign. Who knows whether Cleve actually wrote the email or just signed his name? But, for the first time, a Courage Campaign email had a personal feel, apart from them mostly being for a cause (obviously) dear to my heart, because I'd heard of the person it was said to be from. Though I'd gotten an email from him before, that time I hadn't known who he is.
The Courage Campaign sends updates on events important to the GLBTQ community, like the status of Prop 8, and the story of Lt. Dan Choi, an army lieutenant, who was fired for refusing to lie about his sexual orientation and, very often, a request for donations. Among other things.
In its own words, the Courage Campaign is "the online organizing hub for progressive Californians. We are a network of more than 700,000 grassroots and netroots citizens empowered to leverage online tools for offline activism." Even if you're not a Californian (I'm not) it's good to be up-to-date.
If you read this post, but decided not to click on any of the links, go back and do it. Some of them are just FYI, but some of them are because I want you to see it. The video of Black's acceptance is one of them. It's not very long. It's worth your time. Let Black inspire you, in the movie whose screenplay he wrote and his speech both, to give your time to me. To us.

You're not evil.

That's the short version. You're not evil.
But there you go. If you read my previous post, and you should, to get more out of this one, you now see why just saying it isn't enough. Even if you already don't believe you are evil, you should read this anyway, so you have something to say to everyone who thinks you are, and so you get a good idea of the value of a good argument.
Yes, it may be a breath of fresh air. Finally, a break from being called an abomination all the time. But still, it's just words. How do I know? What makes me right, as opposed to everyone who says the opposite?
This is where a good argument comes in handy.
I'm not going to present an entire argument. First, I'm going to cover a couple things that I talked about before: definition of terms and premises that everyone agrees on.
First, definition of terms.
Let's start with evil.
I have to clarify something now. I do not pretend to be all-knowing, or able to speak for religion in general, or any specific religion. All I can say is this: The Bible does not condemn homosexuality as a whole.
See what I mean about definition? Now that I've clarified this, you can't argue that my argument doesn't cover what isn't in the Bible or what other religious texts say, because that's not what I'm trying to prove.
For this argument, I define evil as being something that is hateful to God, as presented in the Bible. No offense meant to all of you non-Christians. This just happens to be, as far as I can tell, a common argument, that I'd like to nip in the bud.
Okay, now for premises.
We'll revisit the definition section a little here. I know we just left it, but hey, bear with me, okay?
Some premises that you'll have to get your opponent to agree to in this argument are that:

• For us to condemn homosexuality based on religion, it must be clearly condemned in the Bible.

Again, some of you may be saying, "No, that isn't true!" But the point of premises is that they aren't already proven. Nowhere does it say that you have to accept the premises. But if you do, and if you agree that logic can be used to prove things, then you must accept the conclusion.
Here are some more premises:

• A doctor who studies the Bible in Hebrew (its original language) is a reliable source for information on the Bible. And finally,
• For us to make an informed statement, we must have all or most of the available, relevant, information on the subject, and if we find a reliable source with new information contrary to our previous statement, we are obliged to read/listen to/find out about this new information before we can again say we are making an informed statement.

This may sound like legalese, and I'd like to call it logic-ese. All it boils down to is,

• Someone with a PhD who studies the subject likely knows more about it than we do, and
• Before we can say something, we have to see the other side of the argument. If we find a new side of the argument, we need to see that too. Otherwise, it's not an informed decision, is it?

Talking like this, as in legalese, helps to leave out the loopholes.

If you get it, then I'm going to leave it at that with a request for you, and everyone you may be arguing this point with, to read a book called What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality by Daniel A. Helminiak, PhD.
If you accept the premises and read the book, I can all but promise you you'll find yourself convinced. He presents an excellent argument.
So please, don't be tearing yourself up over Romans and the others. Read the book. If you can't, then you don't entirely have to take my word for it. I'm not going to recreate the argument, but here are two sections of the Bible you can read to set your mind at ease which stories it mentions.
1 Samuel 18:1, 3-4
Ruth 1
Aren't these unusually strong bonds? Maybe they were not openly declared as homosexual. But all the same, they were powerful bonds between two men and two women. And were they cursed for it? Far from it!
That's all I'll give you for now. I hope it did some good.

Knowledge is power

Have you ever heard something so ridiculous that all you can do is sputter, wishing you had words to counter it?
Sometimes, what you really need is a good course in logic.
If you can hope to counter some of the more negative and wide-spread beliefs about the GLBTQ, you can't just shout, "That's so untrue!". Well, you could. But people aren't too likely to believe you. You need proof. And proof often requires certain things.

• You may need to define certain words, like 'evil',
• You may need to set premises that everyone has to agree on, which isn't actually that hard if you start simple, and
• You need an ability to recognize what's logical and what's not.

Therefore, there are some courses that will be invaluable to you if you ever plan on speaking up. And please, do plan on speaking up someday. Maybe not today. Maybe not this year. But someday.
Basic logic and rhetoric are the most important, in my book. Look for something that promises to help you construct a good argument, and something that teaches you to recognize fallacies.
Geometry is also good, because geometry proofs are a lot like arguments, just with lines, points, and math instead of terms, fallacies, and examples, but it's a big course to take just for the proofs part of it. You'll likely take geometry anyway, or already have. If you already have, and have forgotten it, look online or borrow someone's book and quickly read through the bit on beginning proofs.
Even though you're less likely to take logic and rhetoric, you need it to be able to argue well. One of my rhetoric courses also had some fallacies in it, but I like having extra practice.
I'll give you a little more to go on about why this is so important in my next post.

I'm here for the Revolution.

I'm Phoenix Tawnyflower. That's not my name. That's who I am. Who I want to be. The world's not a friendly place for the GLBTQ folk. I hear someone complain about being called gay, like it's something to be ashamed of.
We do not need to be ashamed.
That's what I'm here for.
I'm here for the out and proud who want somewhere to direct their family and friends.
I'm here for the closeted, the questioning, the friends and family of the out and proud who need information or a helping hand.
I'm here for everyone who's too scared to buy a book or check one out of the library--because someone might see.
Nobody knows what websites you're visiting. The internet-savvy can even wipe their history.
I'm here to tell the world things they'll never hear otherwise. Can you name which states have legalized same-sex marriage? Did you even know they have? If you did, you most likely didn't hear about it through the grapevine. You have to search.
I'm here because I want to help all of the GLBTQ, their family and their friends feel that they can be proud--if not necessarily out.
I'm here because there are things that should happen, that need to happen. Like legalizing same-sex marriage in all the states, and making it possible for loving same-sex couples to marry within their church.
The Revolution has started. There are people who are working hard to make all these things happen. I want to be the headquarters for that. I want to be the place for people to go for links to everything GLBTQ. It's not going to be easy. But that's who I want to be.
I'm Phoenix Tawnyflower, and I'm here for the Revolution.