Definition of a Queerplatonic Partner

Are you just friends, or...?

There is nothing ‘just’ about it.

I read a line somewhere[1] that went “I love you like a depressive loves hypomania,” and

I love some people like that,

like a craving,

a drug,

a need to be ever closer even when we’re right next to each other.

romantic love.

But em, em I love like

a cup of hot tea

after a long day of freezing with a

sore throat.

Ey loves me like

shutting the door

on a loud party

ey was kind of enjoying.

Things were all right before

but with me it’s

oh

thank heavens

here we are.

home.

To summarize:

Would I live with em? Yes.

Would I marry em? Yes.

Would I walk down the street holding hands with em? Yes.

Would I defend em in a heartbeat? Yes.

Would I drop everything for em? Yes.

Do I have romantic feelings for em? No.

Does ey take my breath away with sheer beauty and how much I love em? No.

Do I yearn to be always, ever closer, to touch, to hold, to kiss em? No.

Do I feel the need to ask eir permission to date someone? No.

Is ey the person I want to tell first when something good happens, and the first person I go to for comfort when something bad happens? Yes.

Is ey the person I call when I need help? Yes.

Is ey the person I have real, concrete plans not to lose after graduation? Yes.

Is ey my partner, in every important sense? Yes.

---

[1] “This is not a romantic poem” by Nimm, babyseraphim.tumblr.com

Gives Light

by Rose Christo

I have a new favorite author.
Skylar hasn't had a voice since he was seven. That was when a murderer entered his house, killed his mother, and failed to kill him, the incident that lead Sky to be raised off the reservation, away from his family, alone except for his father. But when his father disappears and Sky is placed with his grandmother, he befriends the son of the man who killed his mother and nothing will ever be the same again. This is a delicate weaving of morality vs legality, of sweet romance against the odds, of two lonely boys finding a home, of speaking without a voice.
Gives Light effortlessly evokes empathy for Native people and teaches the truth about the way the government treats them without ever feeling forced. It's not a history lesson, it's simply an irrevocable part of living on an Indian reservation, and of being a foster child. There's minimal angst derived from the relationship; it's mostly them against the world, against unjust laws, clinging to their family and sorting out complicated emotions.
I only heard of Rose Christo because she wrote the infamous My Immortal, but I'm so glad I did, because the Gives Light series goes up there with Matthew J. Metzger books. Yes, it's a series: the first of six. I read all of them within three days total. They're just that good.

More Happy Than Not

by Adam Silvera
This book left me reeling. I'm not even gonna try to write a summary, that's how reeled I am. This is a book about self-acceptance and honesty and living with the truth and love, but so are a lot of other books.
This is a book where I couldn't figure out the plot. This is a book that grabbed me by the heartstrings and didn't let go. This is a book that had me going "wait a sec, what just happened" and "what do you mean that's how it ends" and this is a sci-fi novel like nothing you've ever read.
This isn't a book that took some main concept like "what if love were illegal" or "what if everybody had surgery to make their body 'perfect' at age 16" or "what if our brains could all connect with special helmets" and made the whole world change in response, enveloped the characters in this new world and all its consequences.
No.
This is a book where everything is the same except this one medical procedure happens to exist, where it's not a huge part of people's lives until it is. This is a book that weaves sci-fi into the narrative so naturally that everything before it feels rough and forced by comparison.
This is a sci-fi masterpiece that ought to be shelved with the greats, and never will because it's a YA book.
TW for suicide, violent homophobia.

The ball is rolling, I have my first two preorders! You can subscribe to updates here.

PREORDER BINARY TALK

Hey, everyone!
Huge news: Binary Talk is now available for preorder.
The more preorders I get, the more publishers get to see it. My goal is 500 preorders by February 15. So please preorder a copy now! You can get a signed hard copy for $20 or an ebook for just $10.
Leandra and Jimena have been best amigas forever. But when Leandra discovers the word transgender, the cost of her struggle to regain her identity may be her Spanish—and Jimena.
Read a longer synopsis, an outline, and excerpts here!

Spy Stuff

by Matthew J. Metzger

Yes, I'm on a spree of Metzger books. I am unashamed. They're worth it.

Anton was driven out of his old school for being trans, so he's determined to go stealth at his new one. His binder is a 'back brace', he doesn't go out for football in case anybody feels anything, and nobody comes over on Sundays because that's when Dad shows up, and Dad still calls him Natasha. But it's really hard to stay closeted to your boyfriend, especially when you're pre-transition, and Jude--well, Jude's smile gives Anton butterflies from day 1. CW for slurs. Probably some homophobic ones that I honestly don't really notice anymore, but notably an ethnic slur for Polish people, the r-slur, the t-slur, and the k-slur*. None of it's meant to harm.

Everything I've come to expect and adore out of a Metzger book. New, refreshing plot that I couldn't predict the end of at any point, death to all the tropes, and, more importantly, a trans character that rings true as written by a trans author. Most of the uneducated-about-trans-shit characters caused no major trauma and were really supportive, Mom and aunt were completely on board, the therapist was written like a good therapist, and we pretty much avoided all the problematic trans narratives that I could think of. Take notes, all ye queer writers! Added to my gifts for other folks list. 5/5.

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*ret*rded, tr*nny, and k*ke respectively.

Cover art

My mother informs me that this is the font she used for her first business--which she named after me. Trans flag on the left, Puerto Rican flag on the right. This took most of a day, and I'm rather proud of it.

New Years' update

I went to Haverford in early December and poked around the dorms I mention in BT, came home and added new details to those scenes, and now I'm hunting for a publisher!