I was reading the paper today, looking for the advice columns, when I happened upon an article about a gay wedding planner. I searched for it online, and first found a new article interviewing two gay rights activists of different generations.
If you still have the paper, the articles are pages C1 and C3 of the Metro Section and E10 of the Arts & Style section of the Washington Post.
The article about the interview was columnist Robert McCartney. He talked with Frank Kameny, who he says picketed the White House and "forced the American Psychiatric Association to stop classifying homosexuality as a mental illness". The other was Rich Madaleno, a Maryland state senator, who hopes the signing of the bill will press home to straight couples that gay couples are no different. He raises two adopted children with his partner.
The other article, by Ellen McCartney, is about Rob Gillan, the founder of D.C.'s Gay Wedding Planners, and the shocking number of inquiries he's received when "setting up a company focused on gay weddings". Also mentioned is Kathryn Hamm, who runs the site GayWeddings.com.
As a girl who can only recall fantasizing about how she would design her wedding to her wife, I think this is a wonderful thing to work for. Let's just cross our fingers that no Prop 8 problems crop up in DC as they did in California.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Homophobia.
Who's up for International Day Against Homophobia? (Monday, May 17th)
All you have to do is wear a plain black shirt to silently protest homophobia. If you can, you can write "Gay rights are human rights" on your arm or on a piece of clothing.
*definition* Homophobia: The fear of homosexual behavior and those who practice it, often manifested as hate.
And by behavior, I mean everything, including kissing, holding hands, and the simple act of loving. (I know, loving can be anything but simple. But falling in love can be easy.)
This might not be the best definition. But I think it's the closest. Remember that post about labels? I would wager that homophobia is mostly about fear of the unspoken 'rules' getting broken.
I think that transphobia takes a slightly different definition than homophobia, but for simplification, assume that trans-phobia is included in, but not the same as, homophobia.
Transphobia: The fear of behavior and dress as though one were the opposite sex (especially in M2F trans people), often manifested as hate.
Homophobia is a horrible thing. It makes people fear themselves, their friends, and their family in the name of 'what's right'.
It is not a disease to be GLBTQ. Be proud.
All you have to do is wear a plain black shirt to silently protest homophobia. If you can, you can write "Gay rights are human rights" on your arm or on a piece of clothing.
*definition* Homophobia: The fear of homosexual behavior and those who practice it, often manifested as hate.
And by behavior, I mean everything, including kissing, holding hands, and the simple act of loving. (I know, loving can be anything but simple. But falling in love can be easy.)
This might not be the best definition. But I think it's the closest. Remember that post about labels? I would wager that homophobia is mostly about fear of the unspoken 'rules' getting broken.
I think that transphobia takes a slightly different definition than homophobia, but for simplification, assume that trans-phobia is included in, but not the same as, homophobia.
Transphobia: The fear of behavior and dress as though one were the opposite sex (especially in M2F trans people), often manifested as hate.
Homophobia is a horrible thing. It makes people fear themselves, their friends, and their family in the name of 'what's right'.
It is not a disease to be GLBTQ. Be proud.
Stop Labeling
We are all forced into labels and categories, and we don’t always notice. Rich. Poor. Young. Old. Blonde. Brunette. White. Black. Catholic. Buddhist. English. Hispanic. And dozens of others. But the least obvious categories are Girls and Boys. They can be called other things, like Females and Males, or Women and Men, Chicks and Dudes, Dolls and Guys.
The Girl has only female organs, is attracted only to boys, and (less commonly accepted) plays ‘house’ or with dolls, is docile, subservient, good in the household, unable to lead, and less able than the Boy.
The Boy has only male organs, is attracted only to girls, and (again less commonly accepted) is dominant, a capable leader and a good example, is above household duties except physically difficult tasks like mowing the lawn, and more able than the Girl.
I think the biggest problem people have with GLBTQ people is that they break those boundaries.
Intersex and transsexuals have physical makeup that breaks the boundaries. Gay, bisexual, and most especially labelless people break the boundaries of attraction. Femme and butch people of the opposite sex (not to mention capable women and type B men) break the boundaries of what is appropriate to enjoy, be good at, ‘Gay’ has become a separate category, but even it has its rules, like attracted only to the same sex and is either resembling the opposite sex, or is ‘with’ someone like that.
That would be a good final goal: For there to be no labels. For people not to have to come out, but for guys to be able to say, "I'm dating this great guy" or "I used to have this great game I played with dolls" (and vice versa for girls) without anybody batting an eye. I don't know that that'll happen in my lifetime, but it would be nice to hope.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
This is why we have to fight
"'Loving! Lusting, you mean. Read your Bible... Read Leviticus, read Romans 1:26.' I don't know what I said then. Maybe I didn't say anything. I'm not sure I was able to think any more. I do remember, though, that I went home and read Leviticus and Romans, and cried again."
~ Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1982. (Place of publication unknown)
It touches something deep inside me and makes me feel like crying to think of kids being read Leviticus and Romans and told that they are abominations. Why must What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality be so little known that my local library system doesn't have it?
This is why I have to do this. This is what to keep in mind. This is why apathy won't cut it. This is why we have to fight.
Because apathy won't cut it. "I don't care what you do in your own time." "Why can't gay people do what they want and leave us alone?"
Because we aren't a disease, to be hidden away and forgotten about. In recent memory, I heard a conversation in which a girl had never heard of gay girls. She seemed to think it only applied to men. I had never even heard of the concept of transgender until a few years ago. How can we expect our teens to feel good about themselves, when as far as they know, nobody else is like them? When a girl likes other girls and assumes it's just friendship love and that it will always be better than romantic love? What will happen when she's engaged, or even married, and realizes the truth? When a boy who is biologically a girl, or vice versa, assumes that something is wrong with them--or flat out assumes they are gay, when that isn't necessarily true? How can we expect teens to grow up well-adjusted when they are seriously confused? When there is no obvious support, or anyone they know they can turn to with questions? When everywhere same-sex couples are still denied marriage, not to mention marriage within their faith? That isn't going to work. We have to fight if we want any of that. No, apathy won't cut it. If you're not against us, please, join us.
~ Garden, Nancy. Annie on My Mind. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1982. (Place of publication unknown)
It touches something deep inside me and makes me feel like crying to think of kids being read Leviticus and Romans and told that they are abominations. Why must What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality be so little known that my local library system doesn't have it?
This is why I have to do this. This is what to keep in mind. This is why apathy won't cut it. This is why we have to fight.
Because apathy won't cut it. "I don't care what you do in your own time." "Why can't gay people do what they want and leave us alone?"
Because we aren't a disease, to be hidden away and forgotten about. In recent memory, I heard a conversation in which a girl had never heard of gay girls. She seemed to think it only applied to men. I had never even heard of the concept of transgender until a few years ago. How can we expect our teens to feel good about themselves, when as far as they know, nobody else is like them? When a girl likes other girls and assumes it's just friendship love and that it will always be better than romantic love? What will happen when she's engaged, or even married, and realizes the truth? When a boy who is biologically a girl, or vice versa, assumes that something is wrong with them--or flat out assumes they are gay, when that isn't necessarily true? How can we expect teens to grow up well-adjusted when they are seriously confused? When there is no obvious support, or anyone they know they can turn to with questions? When everywhere same-sex couples are still denied marriage, not to mention marriage within their faith? That isn't going to work. We have to fight if we want any of that. No, apathy won't cut it. If you're not against us, please, join us.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Same-sex marriage bill signed
I was watching this live earlier today, but as the sound was turned off, I couldn't really catch what was going on other than that a same-sex marriage bill was being signed. Here's the story, or watch it here.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Gay Rights Marchers in DC
View the article here. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is a military policy which bans questioning about sexual orientation, but allows gays to be discharged for coming out.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
MORE on lesbianism
I was reading an old copy of MORE today. (Yes, I know this is a magazine for women over 40. No, I am not over 40 or even close. Yes, I know I'm weird.)
A while ago, I read an issue, the one before the May 09 one most likely, that had an article titled, "Over 40 and Over Men". As you can guess, it was about women who come out as lesbians in midlife. Some were even married. I found it very interesting, and I think it shows how deep-seated our assumption that we are straight is.
But my focus is on the issue I was reading today, and the letters from readers section. Here is one comment:
"My surprise when reading "Over 40 and Over Men was not that some women become lesbians later in life but rather that the writer portrayed the women's coming out as a positive choice for their families. Are all husbands of wives who announce they are gay and ending their marriage going to encourage them to "explore their new feelings"? The article also glossed over how a woman's decision to leave her family for a lesbian lifestyle affects her children. A more balanced view of such an important life decision would have been more appropriate." ~ Ann L., San Diego, California, "Letters." MORE May 2009: 16
The main assumption this letter is based on is that lesbianism (sorry, guys, but like I said, MORE, and therefore the articles in it, are for women) is something that 'happens', or is our choice, as though these women are bored of their straight marriage, and seek excitement in starting over in a same-sex relationship.
The question I would like to pose is, who in their right mind would choose this?
I don't mean this to say we should try to force ourselves to be straight. The kind of choice that involves accepting yourself is one I wholeheartedly support. But back when you thought you were straight, as I'm sure many of us did, would you have simply decided to be gay? Many of us even wished we were straight. And why not? It would sure save a lot of persecution, coming-out stress, and annoyance at having to correct people. It would bypass a whole lot of moral questions, too.
I believe that the decision to accept oneself as gay, and on a bigger scale, the decision to come out, is simply and purely a decision to be honest, with yourself and everyone else, about something close to the center of your being.
Oddly enough, this applies to me very little. If I were given that choice, to be gay or straight, I would, and may have, chosen to be gay.
As a wrap-up, I would like to say that in no way am I criticizing MORE. In the same issue, it mentions Ellen Degeneres (page 63), whom you probably know as a lesbian with her own TV show, and this letter:
"This was a great article and very tastefully written. As a woman who came out at 40, I found it to be right on the money. Thanks for writing it!" ~ Teresa Dominik (via MORE.com), Bryan, Texas, also page 16.
A while ago, I read an issue, the one before the May 09 one most likely, that had an article titled, "Over 40 and Over Men". As you can guess, it was about women who come out as lesbians in midlife. Some were even married. I found it very interesting, and I think it shows how deep-seated our assumption that we are straight is.
But my focus is on the issue I was reading today, and the letters from readers section. Here is one comment:
"My surprise when reading "Over 40 and Over Men was not that some women become lesbians later in life but rather that the writer portrayed the women's coming out as a positive choice for their families. Are all husbands of wives who announce they are gay and ending their marriage going to encourage them to "explore their new feelings"? The article also glossed over how a woman's decision to leave her family for a lesbian lifestyle affects her children. A more balanced view of such an important life decision would have been more appropriate." ~ Ann L., San Diego, California, "Letters." MORE May 2009: 16
The main assumption this letter is based on is that lesbianism (sorry, guys, but like I said, MORE, and therefore the articles in it, are for women) is something that 'happens', or is our choice, as though these women are bored of their straight marriage, and seek excitement in starting over in a same-sex relationship.
The question I would like to pose is, who in their right mind would choose this?
I don't mean this to say we should try to force ourselves to be straight. The kind of choice that involves accepting yourself is one I wholeheartedly support. But back when you thought you were straight, as I'm sure many of us did, would you have simply decided to be gay? Many of us even wished we were straight. And why not? It would sure save a lot of persecution, coming-out stress, and annoyance at having to correct people. It would bypass a whole lot of moral questions, too.
I believe that the decision to accept oneself as gay, and on a bigger scale, the decision to come out, is simply and purely a decision to be honest, with yourself and everyone else, about something close to the center of your being.
Oddly enough, this applies to me very little. If I were given that choice, to be gay or straight, I would, and may have, chosen to be gay.
As a wrap-up, I would like to say that in no way am I criticizing MORE. In the same issue, it mentions Ellen Degeneres (page 63), whom you probably know as a lesbian with her own TV show, and this letter:
"This was a great article and very tastefully written. As a woman who came out at 40, I found it to be right on the money. Thanks for writing it!" ~ Teresa Dominik (via MORE.com), Bryan, Texas, also page 16.
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