Transition: The Story of How I Became a Man

by Chaz Bono

Bono takes us through his tomboy childhood, his adolescence and young adulthood of being an activist and identifying as a lesbian, and his discovery that he is transgender and eventual pursuit of transition. Trigger warnings for life with and death from cancer, drug addiction.

It was a very honest, forthright look at the life of a human being under various types of great pressure. Chaz talks about his life dating women much older and younger than him, his abuse of prescription drugs, his struggle with staying clean, and the very real damage not transitioning did to him. It acts as a reminder not to let fear control our lives, especially when it concerns something important to us, and the consequences thereof. Transition is a story I imagine many trans people could relate to, and pretty much any queer person who had a severe chance of losing the most important people in their lives over coming out. It was very long, though!

Overall rating: 3/5

Tango: My Childhood, Backwards and in High Heels

by Justin Vivian Bond

Justin Vivian Bond's memoir, set before V's discovery of words like transgender, genderqueer, or agender, chronicles a young child's discoveries of lipstick, sex, transphobia, bullying, femininity, religion and friendship.

There's an endorsement on the back that says this book should be in the hands of every child and every adult that cares about that child. (I knew I should have written this review before I gave it back to the library. I can't properly quote. Please don't sue.) I'm not sure I'd go that far--I think I'm conservative enough to think that giving a book that describes having sex--lots of sex--as an eleven-year-old to children everywhere isn't the best of decisions. Adults that care about children, yes--Bond's desire to simply be accepted, struggles with the gender binary, and harassment are universal themes that adults who care for children need to understand. It's a good read, fast, gripping, and a little shocking--don't give this one to Grandma. It shows the reader how Bond's gender identity was present from early childhood, and not compromised by the fact that all Bond knew of queer culture was that boys who had sex with boys were faggots. As Real Man Adventures describes post-transition life, Tango describes pre-transition life, a welcome diversion from the many peri-transition narratives, if that is a word.
This is an open apology to Bond if I have used the wrong pronoun above--there are no pronouns in the book itself, except for the he/him ascribed to Bond by society, and I am getting my pronoun knowledge from the introduction, which confusingly uses V's, Mx's, and his somewhat interchangeably as the possessive pronoun, and left me extremely confused. Not that Bond owes me pronouns, but let it stand that it's hard to give a review of a book without the pronouns of the main character, and I'm sorry if I'm wrong!

Overall rating: 3/5

Project upshot: I appreciate the look at childhood life and also how dysphoria for a non-binary person can be similar and different from dysphoria for a binary person.

Real Man Adventures

by T Cooper

Real Man Adventures is a collection of interviews, essays, lists, and other bits of snarkiness that T Cooper has assembled into what he calls "a mostly non-fiction book on the subject of masculinity with some biographical elements" (260). It discusses Cooper's experience of manhood and masculinity as a trans man, including his interactions with his parents, his brother, his wife, his kids, government officials, other trans people, and more.

Cooper is honest to a fault, owning up to his insecurities, his fears, his resentments, and his anger. And I do mean 'to a fault'. I seem to remember saying in a previous review to a previous book that a character's faults are most easily forgiven if the character owns up to and dislikes them. It doesn't work here. While I acknowledge Cooper's right to be angry when the passport office won't change his passport sex to M without genital surgery, I also think taking it out on the person on the other end of the phone (who, in all likelihood, neither makes the rules nor has the power to change them, and simply doesn't want to lose their job) wasn't the kindest or most useful thing to do. While I empathize with his insecurity concerning his wife's ample opportunities to find a cis man, he mentioned it enough times that I got frustrated and wanted to respond, "What more does she have to prove to you? She clearly adores you. You've adopted her children. She's transparent about what she's doing when she's out with other men (part of her job as a reporter). She's supportive and thoughtful about all the problems you come to her with, and she shoots you down the second you mention that she might prefer a cis man." I know these things aren't ruled by logic but by fear. I still wished he'd mention it less. His is a unique perspective--unlike many trans men, Cooper doesn't identify with 'born in the wrong body', nor does he have any single life-changing moment where he realized he was a man. He doesn't talk about his transition, he talks about his life after his transition, the parts of his life still affected by being trans even afterward. It's a good read if you've experienced similar frustrations and fears and need to know someone shares them, but not the sort of book you want to hand your mom to say, "Look! This is why you need to try harder to use the right pronouns!" There are some really good arguments about why you should try harder to use the right pronouns, but I recommend reading it yourself and rephrasing rather than just handing it over. The angry tone of it will likely put her on the defensive and you won't get anywhere. Much of it is amusing, some of it is confusing but stubbornly not elaborated upon. (In the chapter titled Ten Things People Assume I Must Understand About Women but Actually Don't, #1 is "The physical pain involved in menstruation" (59). There is no explanation as to why.) Not all of it is directly related to being trans, even though the experiences are necessarily colored by it.

Overall rating: 2.5/5

Project upshot: This one'll go back to the library. I feel duly warned against certain cliches, but that's it.